Author Dorothy Tennov, Ph.D., on Love and Limerence: It was over 35 years ago that, having become convinced through personal experience and the writings. Reviews the book, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tennov . The book is interesting in the way that a contemporary. Love and Limerence (reprinted now after twenty years) moves a little in that direction, Tennov's central argument, illustrated with accounts from individual.


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Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love

Blended is dire ecstasy or keen despair, depending on the turn of events. The sensitivity that stems from fear of rejection can darken limerent objects' perceived body language. Conflicted signs of desire may be emitted that love and limerence tennov judgment. Often the limerent object is currently involved with another or is in some other way unavailable.

A condition of sustained alertness, a heightening of awareness and an enormous fund of energy to deploy in pursuit of the limerent aim is developed.


The sensation of limerence is felt in the midpoint of the chest, bottom of the throat, guts, or in some cases in the abdominal region. Psychological effects[ edit ] Sufferers complain of abandonment, despair, and diabolically humiliating disappointment.

A sense of paralyzing ambiguity predominates, punctuated by pining. The fact of intermittent or nonreciprocal response lends to labile vacillation. This limbo is the threshold for mental prostration. Sexuality[ edit ] Awareness of physical attraction plays a key role in the development of limerence, [8] but is not enough to satisfy the limerent desire, and is almost never the main focus; instead, the limerent focuses on what could be defined as the "beneficial love and limerence tennov.

Nevertheless, Tennov love and limerence tennov that "the most consistent result of limerence is mating, not merely sexual interaction but also commitment".

Limerence - Wikipedia

However, while sexual surrender at one time indicated the end of uncertainty felt by the limerent love and limerence tennov — because in the past, a sexual encounter more often led to a feeling of obligation to commit — in modern times this is not necessarily the case.

The sexual aspect of limerence is not consistent from person to person. Most limerents experience limerent sexuality as a component love and limerence tennov romantic interest.

Some limerents, however, may experience limerence as a consequence of hyperarousal. In such cases, limerence may form as a defense mechanism against the limerent object, who is not perceived initially as a romantic ideal, but as a physical threat to the limerent. Sexual fantasies are distinct from limerent fantasies.

Limerent fantasy is rooted in reality and is intrusive rather than voluntary.

Dorothy Tennov

Sexual fantasies are under more or less voluntary control and may involve strangers, imaginary individuals, and situations that could not take place. Limerence elevates body temperature and increases love and limerence tennov citation needed ], a sensation of viewing the world with rose-tinted glassesleading to a greater receptiveness to sexuality, love and limerence tennov to daydreaming.

People can become aroused by the thought of sexual partners, acts, and situations that are not truly desired, whereas every detail of the limerent fantasy is passionately desired actually to take place.

Limerence sometimes increases sexual interest in other partners when the limerent object is unreceptive or unavailable.

When intense, it crowds other motives out of the psyche. It should be noted that Limerence is not synonymous with meanings customarily attached to the term "infatuation.


Finally, in my judgment, both limerence and nonlimerence represent normal functioning. Limerence presents problems for love and limerence tennov modern individual, causing inattention to other aspects of life, especially to responsibilities and to other relationships.

Limerence for someone other than the spouse is a major cause of marital and family disruption.


Furthermore, the limerent's behavior may hinder rather than enhance a relationship with the desired person if a response in kind does not occur. When frustrated, limerence may produce such love and limerence tennov distress as to be life threatening.